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Sunday, May 1, 2022

What a life

 Good Sunday Afternoon,

Has anyone had that one thing that drives you totally insane to the point you just want to bang your head on a wall or counter? The one thing that drives me totally insane is when you give advice, shared personal experience with someone who is really close to you and what do they do? They go ahead and do the thing that they asked you advice for. 

How many times can you repeat the same mistake over and over again? Keep going back to the same situation over and over. At who's expense? Your family, you friends, your job, home? What is it going to take for you to finally learn the lesson? 

I grew up in a broken home. I thought I would never repeat the same mistakes my mother made. Jumping from one guy to another at the expense of others. The only man that actually treated her right was the man I would eventually call dad for the rest of my life. He accepted me, my brother and my sister as his own even after baby sister and baby brother were born. But my mother never stopped doing what she did. It did a number on all of us, including dad. 

From that experience, I have 2 failed marriages. Both marriages ended up in abuse. Third time is a charm they say. Yes, there have been some issues with this one, but nothing like what happened in my other marriages. I of course am no angel. I have done things that I shouldn't have, but I have learned from those mistakes.

I cannot say the same for a certain individual who is very close to me. They keep repeating the same mistake over and over. It has costed them family more than once. Not to mention a friend or two from time to time. They have put their children at risk over and over again. Even more recently when they put children at risk of abusive or being subject to their parent being abused. Now they have brought back into their home someone who is a danger to children and has verbally and mentally abused the parent of the children. They have gaslighted this person over and over. This isn't the first time they brought this person into their home and had a relationship with this individual. This individual is not supposed to be around children of any age, but yet they are living in the home. When you tried to talk to the parent, they lie straight to your face and say that the person isn't going to be around but for a day or two to help with a project. Things that make you go hmmmmm. Especially when you have 2 capable people who live right next door. 

I do not want to give up on this person because I did that once on someone and I lost them forever. I told my baby sister that if she went back to her abusive, drug-addict husband, the next time she tried to come home, she would do so in a body bag. Sure enough, she was planning on leaving him. They were coming home from a BBQ; they had an argument, and he grabbed the steering wheel while my sister was driving. That action in turn caused the accident that killed her. I do not want the same thing to happen to happen with this person. 

I do not know how much more I can take of this. I want to end this all and right now. What can I do? What should I do? 

2022

Well it has been 12 years since my last entry to this blog. A lot has happened since then. Been married twice and divorced once. Moved to 3 different states. Last move was back to my home state of Texas back in 2014. 

I have become a step-mom to a son and daughter. Each who have kids of their own (1 boy and 2 girls). I love being called Gigi.  
I have kind of distance myself from my family only because of the family drama that goes on. One always trying to out do the other. Heaven forbid if you did something that they didn’t like or didn’t do first. So there are just times it’s best to just step back and watch from the sidelines on how much Fuckery can happpen in one’s own family. So much backstabbing and blaming and shaming going on. And if you keep to yourself you are wrong for that. Case of “damn if you do and damned if you don’t.”
I have worked In retail most of my adult life and since August of 2021 left retail all together   I am a home healthcare nurse. Which I really love. I had neck surgery back in June of 2021. And after 2 years of trying to avoid the global pandemic, I managed to get Covid-19 right after Christmas and was out of work for 2 weeks. It royally sucked but it could have been worse bad I not gotten vaccinated. 
What are my plans for the future, one asks? Well, I am hoping to have started my own small business. Hopefully have moved into a house I can call my own and not having to pay rent to someone who won’t fix things or even maintain the property. Maybe move out of state. Haven’t really decided on that one yet but have been looking up near Wyoming or Montana. And no not because of the tv show Yellowstone or 1883. But because it would be nice to see a part of the country that I haven’t been. 
Well I best get off of here and get back to work. Hopefully it won’t be so long before I post again. 
Much love, Theresa